I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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