We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
