I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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