Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
