I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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