She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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