Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
