i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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