i would punch a child for taco bell
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
