the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
