Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
