I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
