WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
