non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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