I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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