I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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