i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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