Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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