My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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