Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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