i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
you never un-have a 4some
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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