good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wear drunk well.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
