What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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