shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
