Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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