Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
