"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize