i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize