I got her a Nickelback box set.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
