Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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