This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
