Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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