I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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