I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
