Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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