Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
