i don't like sucking hair
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm both gender and math confused
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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