Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
