New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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