i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
