YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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