Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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