physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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