my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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