you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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