Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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