Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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