how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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