: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
