I wanna passion pit in your ass
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
