She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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