When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
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Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize