Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
