I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
