yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
