THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
