it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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